Christmas Carols for the Insane

Just a little humor here to get everyone in the Christmas Spirit!

I've always wondered why my favorite carols are in the minor key...anyone else?

And on a side note, what is everyone's opinion on Picardy Thirds? I personally DETEST them. My most hated musical element by far. I always take them out of my pieces.

CHRISTMAS DISORDERS and CAROLS

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and…..

6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy – can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells….

11. Oppositional Defiant Disorder– You better not cry – Oh yes I will
You better not Shout – I can if i want to
You better not pout – Can if i want to
I’m telling you why – Not listening
Santa Claus is coming to town – No he’s not!!

Read more: http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue/2010/12/do-you-hear-what-i-hear-christ.html#ixzz2EsL6lGJ5

Hobey-ho!

Spit Pups

No excuses for the time lapse...so we're moving on.

It was this past February, and we're all in Wind Ensemble at noon like it's any other Tuesday. We're going through piece after piece, and we get a section that's flute centered. The flutes are in two half-rows, one behind the other, with pics and firsts in the front and second and third in the back. There were probably 5 flutists and a piccolo. And the section just completely falls apart. So Doc starts nagging at the little Freshman girl playing third, and yet it was one of the front row players who's facial expression reacted to the criticism.

And Doc had this to say: "Sorry about spitting on your to get to her!"

(Normally in music, "spit" refers to the condensation that comes out of your instrument, which of course gives me the perfect opportunity to place two cartoons here as an interjectory to this little post:

Alright, had a good little laugh now? *End digression*)

But Doc was not finished with the little freshman in the back, and quickly returned to fulfill the whole purpose for stopping the rehearsal in the first place. "She needs a little help to get that puppy in the pile!"

(A moment for all the ladies to go "awwwwwwwwww!")

And of course, him saying that made me imagine all of the flutes following the Pied Piper into a pile of their own:

(sorry for the flute carcasses)

We did the section over again, and either the little fluitist was terrified into submission, or Doc just figured he'd punished her enough for the day, and we moved on. But I think whatever she had spread to the rest of the group.

Just before class time was over, Doc commented on the fact that we weren't holding notes all the way to the downbeat and really putting holes all over our phrasing, and he gave us the really depressing face mixed with disbelief that we were all college students - many of us music majors - all with several years of music experience under our belts.

"If we can't play whole notes by now, we haven't made it."

(Whole notes are, quite frankly, the easiest value of note to figure out. A whole note takes up an entire measure, basically, unless you want to get into the really complicated time signatures and compositions that no one will see unless you're a music major or a professional musician, so I won't waste your time. Whole notes are what you learn first when playing an instrument, because it gives you tons of time to listen to tone and look-up the fingering for the next note coming in 4 beats.)

Since there's no way to argue that...we just didn't look at him, and he let us finish out the piece with a little bit of dignity before sending us out the door with our tail between our legs. 

(sorry, couldn't resist another cute puppy pic!)

Hobey-ho!