Okay, so I know I've been absolutely horrible, and I promise unto all things Holy that I will give a real update soon, but I follow these two hilarious tumblr pages (
http://whatshouldwecallbassoon.tumblr.com and
http://soyoureachurchmusician.tumblr.com).
And on the latter, I just found this gem:
WHEN MY BEST FRIEND AND I LISTEN TO HYMNS IN THE CAR
Plus the even more applicable to this blog/post (which is on the link but I will also copy and paste here for ease of use):
http://soyoureachurchmusician.tumblr.com/post/25621792164/quotes-from-my-choir-director
QUOTES FROM MY CHOIR DIRECTOR
In my last two years at IU, I was fortunate enough to be in the early music choir, under the direction of William Jon Gray. Throughout the last year, I started writing down things he said in rehearsals that were just absolutely hilarious. Some may not make sense, but they still were good enough to be written down.
So, here’s to you Dr. Gray. :)
1. I am not a man, but a worm.
2. You may not like being called a sackbut.
3. The passaggio is a ramp, not a parking lot.
4. You stray from the pack and a predator eats you.
5. Your Eb was like lobbing two hot dogs at a dartboard.
6. ….And you’re up there jivin’ on top.
7. Taste the sin in your mouth.
8. There’s ecstasy in the melisma.
9. When I die, it won’t be breathy. There will be core in my last words.
10. I’m tired of singing all this penitential crap! I wanna sing happy songs! *He wasn’t serious…..*
11. No scratching off in Palestrina.
12. Your Holy Spirit was more like an ostrich.
13. There are no 3rds in the grave.
14. Did your mother have any children who lived?
15. There’s nothing worse than dry polyphony.
16. We don’t have time for such subtleties in the monastery.
17. Asperges me: The liturgical version of “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head”.
18. The tenors migrate in the Fall.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
And I just got super excited, because not only am I not the only one to notice all of the crazy awesome things that musicians (especially directors) say in normal conversation/rehearsals, I'm also not the only one to write them down and blog about them!!!
So thank you, tumblr, for reminding me that it's not such a small (musical) world after all. XD
